Step One - Use three or more of the following words:

Specious
Mantra
Invective
Innumerable
Surfeit
Colossal
Mélange

Step Two - Use two or more of the following phrases:

it is my hope
certainly
for lack of
it would be impossible
is not acceptable
what [noun] fails to [synonym for understand, appreciate, grasp, recognize, account for, point out]

Writers      Home Step Three - Send man-sized letters to:

Harper’s Magazine - Submissions
666 Broadway, 11th Floor
New York, NY 10012