10 Disc CD Changers
Why the hell does anyone need a 10 disc changer? People are so lazy. My 5 disc changer works just fine.

The Egg Rant
Why the hell do we need twelve different types of eggs at the grocery store? What if we decrease the number to just, say, six and meanwhile increase the number of local phone carriers to, say, two. We could have six different types of eggs and two local phone carriers. [Rebuttal]

Saturday Night Live Rant
I hate to, like, be obvious or anything, but am I the only one who finds something wrong with a show being called 'Saturday Night Live’ not actually being live? I mean. What?

Billboards
As if there aren’t enough driving distractions already, billboards are now officially out of control. I woke up one morning, and they had gone from R-rated to NC-17. Excuse me, but if I have to choose between looking at the back of someone’s beat up old Ford Explorer or some sixty foot wide cleavage, well that isn’t really much of a choice is it? Look, I’m all for sex on T.V., but this is dange-4-us.

Spell Checker Fallout
Television helped us forget how to read. Email gave us the ancient art of letter writing. And now, spell checker not only spots, but has the authority to fix your spelling automatically. Is it seperate or separate? Hell, I wouldn’t know.

The Damn Sticker
Why do they still make you put the sticker on the blank video tape yourself? It’s like they’re trying to give you a choice in the matter. But what the hell else would you want to put on there? Or maybe it’s in case you decide not to use the video tape, and this way, you will have the sticker for something else, more important? And why do they only give you one side sticker, but two top ones? Who needs a frigging top one?

Emotional Intelligence
"...and now that there’s 'emotional intelligence,’ we have to come up with a new term for the old type of intelligence. I suggest we call it 'Intelligence Classic’ or how about just 'megahertz’..."

Daily Life
I hate anyone using the phrase ‘daily life’ as in “… it’s not the kind of thing you would use in your daily life…” What the hell does that mean? Yes, there’s my daily life, and then there’s my other life, on the planet Nebulon. [life I] [life II]

Bit O’Anything
Yeah, that’s fucking hilarious. Please, everyone keep saying it.

The 'Now, you’re losing me’ and 'You lost me’ Rant
It’s just such an arrogant thing to say. If you don’t see someone’s logic, why don’t you say something like, "wait, I’m not following" or "I don’t get it." Why should the burden be on the sayer, you’re the one who’s not getting it. Or if you don’t think what they’re saying is cool or funny anymore, then say something like "wait, I’m not sure that’s so cool or funny anymore." or even a nice, drawn out, "okay…" with or without a supplemental eye gesture (such as the roll, look-off, look-up or even the big eyes) can be effective. But to just say "you’re losing me" is so infinitely pompous. Somebody should slap you one time. "You lost me" is pompous in the past tense.


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