Something Old

I used to not think this, but there comes a time in a man's life when he appreciates the value a good slut. A slut will suck your cock right. Sucking your cock wrong means timidly putting her lips around it, making a perfunctory effort for about one minute, and then coming back up for more kissing. Wrong! A slut doesn't mention condoms, and if you have one, she doesn't mention that either. A good slut knows how to fuck. If your wish is to lie there and be ridden like a broomstick, a top-of-the-line slut can gyrate at twenty-two cycles per second. That's serious fucking. A slut doesn't worry when you put your finger over her asshole. She knows you'll move on soon enough like a bee at the picnic (table). A slut loves poetry and knows the power of the spoken word. Original poetry like "fuck me harder" and "God I want you deep inside me." A slut will match your level of dirty talk like a lizard matches brown. A slut doesn't want to sleep over. And she doesn't kiss and tell. What is there to tell? While you ponder these and many other important questions, a good slut is already busy fucking—someone else.

Something New

Aphrodite was the goddess of love in all its forms, a protectress of marriage, the inspirer of ideal affection, and a deity of abandoned sexuality. Often she was depicted as a voluptuous nude of striking beauty. But as through her natural charms were not enough, she also possessed a magical girdle that rendered her irresistible to gods and mortals alike.

Zeus gave Aphrodite to Hephaestus, the ugly, lame craftsman of the gods, to be his wife. Hephaestus was infatuated with his beautiful bride, but apparently she was less than enchanted with him, for she took the virile Ares, god of war, as her lover. Helios reported her misconduct to Hephaestus, who fashioned a very fine but powerful net and suspended it above his wife's bed. Hephaestus then told his wife he was going away for a few days, and Aphrodite summoned Ares. While the adulterous couple was sporting in bed the net fell, binding the two fast. Hephaestus then called upon the other gods to witness his naked wife and her lover in the trap he had laid. Moreover, he demanded that Zeus return the dowry he had paid for his wife, but Zeus was disgusted with the whole affair and left. Apollo and Hermes jested about how they would not mind being caught in the net with such an attractive goddess; and Poseiden became enamored of Aphrodite and offered to guarantee payment of the dowry, should Ares default. Hephaestus released Ares and never received the dowry, but neither did he divorce his wife. In the end he had to tolerate her infidelities.

From that time on Aphrodite slept with many. She bore children to the gods Hermes, Poseiden, and Dionysis, two of which were sexually abnormal. If Zeus never lay with her he was tempted, and he punished her by making her fall in love with a mortal, the handsome Trojan prince, Anchises. In disguise Aphrodite offered herself to the young man, who made love to her on his bed of furs. In the morning she revealed her true identity, which terrified Anchises. She said that no harm would befall him unless her revealed her secret tryst with him. Naturally Anchises could not help telling about it among his drinking companions, and Zeus hurled a thunderbolt at him that would have killed him had not Aphrodite deflected its course a little. But Anchises could never walk upright again. Yet the result of his union with Aphrodite was Aeneas, a great hero.

Proud of her beauty, Aphrodite took offense when a queen of Cyprus bragged that her daughter was more lovely. Aphrodite infected the girl with an incestuous love for the king, her father. The girl contrived a union with the king and became pregnant. Upon learning that he was the procreator of his daughter's child the king chased the girl in a rage, his sword upraised. And just as he was about to cleave her Aphrodite changed the girl into a tree, and as the sword fell, splitting the tree, a child was born.

Aphrodite took the infant Adonis and entrusted him to Persephone, Queen of the Underworld. He grew into a handsome youth, and Persephone took him for a lover. Aphrodite, on learning of his comeliness, went to the underworld to retrieve Adonis, and a squabble arose between the two goddesses. It was decided through arbitration that each one should have him for a third of the year, and that he should have a third to himself. Dissatisfied with this agreement, Aphrodite seduced Adonis with her magic girdle into remaining with her for the whole year. The angry Persephone reported this situation to Aphrodite's old lover, Ares, who changed himself into a boar and attacked Adonis, killing the youth. As Adonis' blood fell to the ground anemone flowers sprang forth. And since his soul descended to the underworld, Persephone at last had him all to herself. However, Aphrodite petitioned Zeus to allow Adonis to spend the summer months in her company, and Zeus agreed.