I just heard this Strom Thurmond sounding guy on the radio say we should be giving away them AIDS drugs to Africa. Wait, what'd he say? I thought for sure he was going to give us three good reasons why the country needs more arsenic per head or how we can get things back right if'n we lynch some genetically modified corn. I'm not used to such sub-saharan awareness, let alone scientific altruism, from that kind of accent. A secret toy surprise inside. And I'm not even sure I'm ready for it. But my prejudice is clearly the media's fault for not digging up more of these advanced Southerners and putting them on the air.

This sort of incongruency, this mini-mental derailment, gives you pause. The train stepped off the track a moment to look around. Nobody was hurt, so I can joke about it. It's like when you see a big rig without its trailer attached. It's quite nearly an epiphany—almost like the time Johnny dumped Bobby-Ray because of a scoop of ice cream. You have to tell someone about it right away, otherwise your head could explode. Bursting with real fruit flavor. Another example would be when things are dropped, yet make no noise, like fresh blueberries in yoghurt or falling tissue. Or when toddler meets ground—those first few precious seconds before he figures it out. When any item of a certain mass such as a metal spoon or axe is thrown into the air



and doesn't come down, it creates a moment of tension. It's surreal even, which, in art critic, means better than real. Of course, you can't just toss a nasty old dog-chewed tennis ball onto the roof and expect to reach nirvana when it lodges in the gutter. Rather, you must take it in good faith (that's Southern for 'take it for granted'), said item will come back down. And when it don't, it challenges your notion of reality, which is refreshing and humbling like nature, or Shakespeare. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Another cool and incongruous thing is television without sound or with your own music playing instead. We all thought of this first. Actually, your dad planted the seed early on when he would watch the game on T.V. but turn the volume off and listen to the radio broadcast. T'were a rather novel idea back when. And this was all happening about the time peanut had just asked chocolate on their second date. God your parents are old. They probably knew George Washington Carver. And finally, we have my personal number one reason for living, which is a clear and sunny day with rain.

[2001]

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