Letter One

Dear Jejunum,

It is my duty to inform you that we at central command are instituting a "no diarrhea" policy effective immediately. Please address any questions or concerns about the new policy to:

Department of Information (c/o Betty )
1 Central Nervous System Lane
Tampa, FL 04388

We hope this letter will avoid any confusion and will not disrupt our good working relationship.

Letter Two

Dear Arm,

I'm sorry you have been going through a lot of personal turmoil recently. Had I known this I would have been more suppurative.

Staph O. Coccus
14 Shadder Way
Roanoke, VA 07822

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