Dear George,
We hope this letter finds you well. I have revoked
your privileges at the Weymouth Country Club. What with your impending
incarceration and all those legal fees, it just doesn’t seem possible for you
to keep up with our exorbitantly high dues. We want you to know we all truly
believe you are innocent. But unfortunately, the jury is surely going to see it
differently. We would be happy to have your wife remain a member, if it weren’t
for the fact that she is dead. Of course, we know you had nothing to do with it.
That you probably did not hire Johnny Rockbiter to do
the job, even though he says you did, which is all the more reason for our
deepest sympathy. We at the club will always remember your delightful personality
and many contributions over the years. And so it is with a heavy heart and the
most sincere regret that I give you this news. And also we ask that you please
do not respond to this letter as it may hold up the process of filling the membership
slot you are so nobly giving up. God speed and good luck.
Yours
Sincerely,
John Q. Rogersmith