ROLLING STONE: So, let me ask you what everyone’s been wanting to know, why coldbacon?

COLDBACON: You mean, why not hot bacon? Or just bacon?

ROLLING STONE: Yes, exactly.

COLDBACON: Yeah, everyone always thinks of hot bacon or crispy bacon or something like that, but if you really think about it, it’s usually cold by the time you eat it, isn’t it? So it’s like playing with people’s notions of reality. And whether it’s hot or cold, cooked or not cooked, it’s still fundamentally, just bacon. See, we wanted to make people think.

ROLLING STONE: So hotbacon.com was already taken?

COLDBACON: Yes.

ROLLING STONE: So how did you guys get started in writing?

COLDBACON: Well, we were all working as janitors at Oxford, and one day, we just were like, “Hey, why should we be doing this bullshit, when we could be, like, changing the world, or something.” So we formed a band, but then none of us knew how to play any instruments. So we tried writing, and the rest is history.

ROLLING STONE: TThere’s a rumor that you guys like to stuff mice down your pants before you write your humor pieces. Is that true?

COLDBACON: Yes, that’s true. We do do that.

ROLLING STONE: Is it true that you guys are thinking of moving to Tibet?

COLDBACON: Of course we are.

ROLLING STONE: So, have you guys got any plans to actually do any publishing in print.

COLDBACON: Are you kidding? The internet’s where it’s at.