You can call me lots of things, but "stupid" is just stupid. 

 

Anyway, I've raised squirrels from babies.  Lots of them fall from the nest during hurricanes.  My favorite baby was the one who barely even had fur, eyes not open, at all.  My friend Ralph brought him to me after a particularly brutal hurricane -- the wildlife shelters were all full and no one could come get him for a few weeks, so I carried him around in a fanny pack everywhere, fed him until his tail got bushy, which is awhile.  He was my first one -- I got instructions from the wildlife lady who lived up near Charlottesville.  We would talk on the phone every day while she told me what to do until she could come and get him herself.  They don't like to do that (tell non-wildlife people how to take care of the wild animals) because people are idiots and try to wash baby birds in the bathtub and shit.  Feed blue jays pancakes, whatever.  But she had to do it this time because there was no one else yet; such a big hurricane.  Very bad business.  But he did fine -- when she came to get him she said we did a good job.

 

You never should feed squirrels with a kitten bottle -- with the nipple.  It's no good for squirrels.  They need to be fed with a plastic syringe -- you have to push the milk in because they don't suck very well.  It's pretty messy, and at first you worry because it seems counter-intuitive; you think they're going to choke, but they don't.  They do ok.

 

Also no good to feed baby squirrels kitten milk.  They need different stuff.

 

I'm just saying.  You forgot I am superhero.  And don't go asking me why didn't I go to vet school.  You know how much school that is?  You think medical school's hard/long?  Por favor!

 

Anyway, dogs are much more dangerous than squirrels. Not to mention it'd be easier to catch TB on the bus than rabies on my balcony with these guys.  I don't think they even have fleas.  They're too fast for fleas.