From: UC Berkeley Library Public PC User
Date: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 2:18 PM
To: bacon@
Subject: it's a fact

dear coldbacon:

if you and dave eggers were ever to get in a fist fight, i bet you would win. you could probably crush him with the sheer force of your IL-9's.

but then he could use the word "opprobrium" to describe you.

sincerely,
the less sincere


From: Dave Eggers
Date: Sunday, May 11, 2002 4:24 PM
To: bacon@
Subject: charlatan

Dear Bacon,

If you really could write, you wouldn't need all those pictures and sounds. But hey, thanks for your comments on the book. You definitely have some issues. Give me a ring next time you're in Manhattan, or Brooklyn, or Queens, or Seattle, L.A., or Paris, or wherever the fuck I'm living. We'll do lunch. Probably Brooklyn.

Later,
Dave


Here is the crushing* message I got:
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > MESSAGE SENT THROUGH YOUR WEBSITE
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > Date/Time of Posting: Oct 22 2002 / 16:50:06
> > IP Address: 128.206.6.140 (which is UCSF)
> >
> > name = courtney
> > replyemail = never mind
> > where = RE Eggers: You are obviously so threatened. This is the lamest,
> most blatantly green-with-envy criticism I've ever read.

* Heartbreaking

Obviously. But since this extraordinary person did not leave a return email, instead filling the space with the outwardly simple but deeply enigmatic and thoughtfully partitioned 'never mind,' I could not write her back. So I did what anyone does when they can't write her back, forward it to one of my sympathizers.


From: Sympathizer

well, i do sense envy, but i am anti-eggers - having read upwards of 20 pages, and remembering nothing - only that Toph must be about my age now. oh, and that he was forced to read James Clavell's _Shogun_ - which I read voluntarily around the same age - for the sex scenes.
Baby just to let me down...
Date/Time of Posting: Oct 27 2002 / 12:18:50
IP Address: 66.27.137.90

name = Darrin James
replyemail = delayedreactionmusic@censored.com
where = I have a few...but I really wanted to say that I am lost in your website. In a very cool way though. I have come across this comments page too early,. but what an you do???....I am a bit confused by the Dave Eggers stuff. Are you connected to Eggers in any way? Or just being critical to the point of absurdity? Eggers is a very cool guy I met at a booksigning. YSKOV is also a good book. Not perfect, but far better than most of the crap that passes itself off as LITERATURE. Anyways, the McSweeneys stuff is great, so long live Dave Eggers and his work. I am going to go and watch the Lions now. Hey, someone has to be a lifelong fan. I told you I had a FEW problems.

Darrin


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