College Level Writing

“We have to fight for our right to party. We don’t have to actually party.”

– Wellesley College Senior, Zara Tieggs

These are little pieces I discovered while sifting through some old issues of the college humor magazine I published back when. Most of the stuff is impressively bad. I wince in pain. I can't believe anyone ever hooked up with me who read that shit. They must not have. And I thought it was so good at the time. What a terrible terrible mistake, which I repeated bi-monthly. I would never make that mistake again—on the internet. Anyway, here are some excerpts in case any of you were thinking of hooking up with me.