The author invites you to take an active interest in this essay, although he doesn't want you to know exactly what it will be about, because that would take the fun away. He doesn't want to take the fun away. If you do not already sense the unmistakable parallel between this story and your own life, the author grants you the freedom to bend, ever so slightly, the meaning of his words so that you may wrap yourself in them, tightly, and be succored.
The author feels you should now be acquainted with the main subject. But first you must adopt a suitable looking device through which to
properly examine the text—something that will enhance and bring out its true meaning, protecting you from the gross injustice of the naked eye. It's said the best way to get at the truth is to get as far away as possible. For this, he recommends the fully collapsable Sony XL50 two-mirrored long range telescope. Versions of this essay can be viewed on Mars, Neptune and beyond. Others would argue for an up close approach. Here, most critics would focus on the Nikon Eclipse ME600L, which comes with replaceable triple filter turrets, or the Olympus OME-8000, which has more versatility than you need. A handful of serious American readers say they'd rather die than use anything less than a Hitachi scanning electron beam. Perhaps a more moderate perspective is in order. Leaders of the Women's Liberation Movement favor the Mamiya 645 E, while the NAACP has unequivocally backed the Ebony SV45. Many Slavs in the know swear by the Linhof Technika 45, while a splinter fraction of Lithuanian scholars remain loyal to the Kiev 88. German scholars still in Germany rely on their Spandau double filter Mark 14's, while French literati are always falling back on their Arca Swiss F-line. Meanwhile, Thomas Edison's great great great grandson has written several not unwitty position papers in support of the monocle.
At this time, the author feels it would now be appropriate to reveal a very important word—knoogle. He realizes that many of you will not understand the word, and for this he is willing to forgive you. Because he knows you will now rededicate yourselves to broader learning. Still, he fears some readers may remain unconvinced of his authority on the subject—may not be feeling themselves insignificant. He recommends they reread the first two paragraphs. And for those who are wondering if they are deserving even of reading any more, he would like me to reassure them they are not alone. He has instructed me to relay the following account of Norse gods who have also been impressed with his work:
Odin, Thor and Freya were all in agreement as were Alvis, Amma and Arnamentia. Loki and Angerboda were impressed enough to dedicate one of their better schemes in his honor. Also awed were Kied Kie Jubmel, flamboyant and misunderstood running back for the Valhalla Volts and gentle Marjatta, who conceived a son after swallowing a cranberry. One must watch out for that. Then there was Berserker who was so moved he suspended his raging just long enough to catch his latest column in the Asgard Times. Why even Snotra, goddess of fragrant literary magazine editors, had nothing but the highest praise. Kornjunfur, goddess of corn, purchased the complete collection on Amazon. She lent them to Jarnsaxa, who was the wife of Thor and wouldn't that be enough. In fact, so pleased were all the gods with his writing they decided to give Ragnarok a miss again this year. Frigg.